Sadly,no. Here is something Vincent told me. I hated hearing it. It ended up in a novel.
On another occasion, following a rooftop party where Petra had been more social than usual, she said to Vincent, “I really appreciate having so many interesting male friends.”
He looked at her like she was out of her mind.
“Listen to me. Listen…VERY…carefully. You do not have ANY male friends, not a single one. Not Rockets, not Lance, not even Fred. All any of them want to do is fuck you. They will wait around for as long as it takes, humoring you, pretending to be impressed by your thoughts, on the off chance they can get their dick in you. You need to be clear about this and act accordingly.”
“But I have these long, meaningful conversations with them. Is it all bullshit? How do you know they’re not my friends?”
He shook his head in disbelief. She was so naïve. She did not understand what she did to men. Even her core belief that she was unattractive added to the whole appeal.
“I know they want to fuck you because they flat out tell me.”
Ooof! Never an easy solution, and most times there is not even a 'difficult' remedy. So sorry you have this on your plate, Mo. It is a hard situation to be in. From my experience it can be a lifelong loss and then, it can actually morph into a truly positive and healthy friendship, with time. Being honest with each other about expectations, feelings, and fears opens the door to understanding and gives respect to each other as you both navigate going forward. There is hope that your friendship can continue and be maintained, though it will be changed. And, if by chance, that isn't how it all works out, well, some people are in our lives for a moment and some for the entirety of our lives. Often quoted from a poem by Brian A. Chalker "People come into your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime" Easy to know, yet hard to wrap our heads and hearts around, particularly with those in our lives short-term. All you can do is interact with care and see where things take you. Wishing you all the best, no matter the outcome.
Thank you for holding space for both hope and acceptance. I love the way you put it: some friendships morph into something new, and some simply belong to a season. It’s never easy, but I suppose the only way through is with care, as you said. I’ll carry that with me.
Ugh I FELT that. I was in the shower tonight wondering the same thing: what’s the harm in a text? This was a friend who I loved. In fact, I loved them so much and I wanted them to be my soul friend more than my romantic feelings towards them (something I bet your friend did) because a failed relationship was not worth losing them in my life. And so I never broached romance with them, even though I felt it. It was enough to be best friends. But in the end, we went separate ways anyways. And though I never said the words, I suspect they knew it all along
Maybe they did know. Maybe love like that doesn’t need words to be understood. Still, I get it—the wondering, the what-if. Some connections just linger!
I explained your story to my husband to see what his reaction would be and not surprisingly he thought the same as me. You cannot force love, as you said, and it is not a nice situation to be in.I think pretty much all of us have been in that situation. For me I was quite young and had formed a pen ship relationship with a boy I met at a girlfriends party, after a year or so he wanted more, but I just didn’t have that sort of feeling for him. I liked him as a friend and that was it. Of course that friendship cooled off eventually, but there was a time a few years later and I was stranded in the city and didn’t have the money to get home (165 miles away), I rang him and he travelled the forty miles from his place, took me back to the town he lived in and loaned me the money for my train fare home. So there you go, no hard feelings and he was there for me. I am hoping that your situation ends the same way. 🤗
It’s comforting to know that sometimes, even when romantic love isn’t reciprocated, respect and warmth can remain. Your friend showing up for you like that says so much about the bond you had, and I love that it wasn’t overshadowed by what didn’t happen. I hope my situation finds that kind of peace too. Thank you for sharing this & always being here in the comment section starting authentic dialogue. I love it & it really touches me! 🤗
This was stunning!!!! I mean meetooo. And yes you can. If both of you want the friendship or say the other person in you life you can. But you gotta hit pause for a bit before you resume.
I don't know if it'll be okay for you but I really hope it is :)
Ahh....this was relatable. I have been in this situation more than once, and from what I experienced, you can never go back to being 'just friends.'. Your post took me back in time, about a decade ago, and yet the emotions felt so fresh as I read every word. It's tough seeing your feelings not being reciprocated and it's also tough losing a close friend because you can't reciprocate those feelings. At the end I realized letting go of them is the best thing you can do to prevent them from hurting anymore. That being said, this post shows your strength as a writer...So much beauty and emotions in this post...Loved it!
It really is one of those impossible situations—no matter which side you're on, there's loss. Letting go is painful, but sometimes it's the only way to be kind to both people involved. I’m so moved that my post took you back in time and that the emotions still felt real as you read. Thank you for this thoughtful, beautiful comment—it means a lot!! 💛
Thank you for being so bloody good with words - you make this look so easy but it isn't.
One, you take a topic this personal and this alone makes it so difficult and two, you make it look so simple as if anyone could write it anytime they want. This is not fair Mohika. Doing sorcery with words is not allowed!
Abhishek, you just made my day! 😄 Sorcery? I promise, no spells were cast—just a lot of staring at the screen, deleting, rewriting, and questioning my life choices. But knowing it landed this way for you makes it all worth it. Thank you for your kind words 💛
I can so relate, Mohika. The girl I went out with for five years just before I met Jennifer was such a good friend. I broke up with her for exactly the same reason; I loved her but finally had to admit that I couldn't see myself marrying her. There was something missing. At first we remained friends, and even met up now and then (after I moved back to my home state we were 14 hours apart). But then I met Jennifer and fell in love; when I told my ex about Jenn, she did a complete turn around and never spoke to me again. I still miss our friendship.
That must have been really tough, Don. It’s heartbreaking when love is there but something essential is missing—and even harder when a deep friendship gets lost in the process. I can only imagine how much you must miss that bond. I’m really touched that my writing resonated with you. Thank you for sharing this with me!!
I think I've been there! There were two guys who loved me and both wanted to marry me so I broke up with one and about a year later I married the other! And we divorced about three years later but I went back to him before the divorce went through and I got pregnant but we went our separate ways one month before our son was born. We tried to work it out but he finally married someone else and left Pa. Now, I'm all alone. My son moved out but he brought me Teddy, a one year old Ginger.
Oh bruh, I can't just say I'm reading those lines; instead, I can say I'm feeling every word and the pain behind them. It's so damn hard to just be friends with someone you love. You want her to be yours, but she can't be. It's like the sun falling in love with the moon, but they can never be together—just like two sides of a coin or two charges of the same field, existing on the same plane but never able to meet.
The words flowed like butter in this piece. Loved it!
Being old(ish) and having broken many such hearts in my lifetime, I can tell you with some confidence that it matters less with time. You do the right thing and some folks understand it and come back and friends, while others hold it against you forever. But it doesn't matter, because you did the right thing!
This is what I needed to hear. I live in my head rent free all the time and sometimes despite knowing the right thing, I overthink to a hundred degrees. You're absolutely right. Every word. Thank you for being here 💝
Been there, done that and yes, our friendship proved strong enough to survive the crush of a single sided romance. I simply made the choice to keep my special friend in my life rather than lose her because of my heartache. We spoke of it often and honestly. In a way she healed me, she kept me close until my heart stopped hurting. It can be done if you both want it badly enough. Good luck.
Thanks Dave! I hope every human out there has a heart strong enough to survive unrequited love 💒✨ My friend completely cut off and blocked me and it crushed my heart but I do forgive him and understand why he did what he did.
It is a bit hard going back to normal after a close friend confesses, but how do you deal it solely depends upon you both.
Some people start with some melodrama, some break ties, while some have a peaceful discussion with them trying to make them understand as to why a romantic relationship can't be possible. If a person falls in love during a friendship, they don't have the right to constantly push the other person to love them, and the other person shouldn't cut off ties either.
If you are into Bollywood, don't behave like Ayan and Alizeh from Ae Dil Hai Mushkil😄❤️
Talk to him, and make him understand peacefully. If he is mature, he will understand☺️❤️
LOVEEEE that you made time to share your thoughts! It's so hard to be on either side of this situation but having hard, honest conversations is the only way to resolve a situation without grudges like you said 💜
I had a friendship breakup like this back in September... I think about it a lot. After 10 years I thought we would be okay. Obviously, he doesn't need me in his life... I didnt know this then but I know it now, i don't need him. I won't get into the gritty details of the mess but it was unrequited in this situationship too and tbh... I'm still hurting. But I go along about my days.
Got really hell bent in a Tool song today though... I always think of him when I hear it... the grudge it's called... you can guess I'm sure ... anyways that's my bubble of a story. 💕 thanks for sharing yours. Gnite.
Thank you for sharing your story with me. All I wanted to do while reading your comment was put my head on your shoulder and listen haha! I know exactly how you feel. Yup, totally don't need him. It's the hurt of missing someone soooo much because you care so deeply about them and then they're gone because you can't give them what they want and that's that 🤷
Sadly,no. Here is something Vincent told me. I hated hearing it. It ended up in a novel.
On another occasion, following a rooftop party where Petra had been more social than usual, she said to Vincent, “I really appreciate having so many interesting male friends.”
He looked at her like she was out of her mind.
“Listen to me. Listen…VERY…carefully. You do not have ANY male friends, not a single one. Not Rockets, not Lance, not even Fred. All any of them want to do is fuck you. They will wait around for as long as it takes, humoring you, pretending to be impressed by your thoughts, on the off chance they can get their dick in you. You need to be clear about this and act accordingly.”
“But I have these long, meaningful conversations with them. Is it all bullshit? How do you know they’re not my friends?”
He shook his head in disbelief. She was so naïve. She did not understand what she did to men. Even her core belief that she was unattractive added to the whole appeal.
“I know they want to fuck you because they flat out tell me.”
Just saying...
Ooof! Never an easy solution, and most times there is not even a 'difficult' remedy. So sorry you have this on your plate, Mo. It is a hard situation to be in. From my experience it can be a lifelong loss and then, it can actually morph into a truly positive and healthy friendship, with time. Being honest with each other about expectations, feelings, and fears opens the door to understanding and gives respect to each other as you both navigate going forward. There is hope that your friendship can continue and be maintained, though it will be changed. And, if by chance, that isn't how it all works out, well, some people are in our lives for a moment and some for the entirety of our lives. Often quoted from a poem by Brian A. Chalker "People come into your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime" Easy to know, yet hard to wrap our heads and hearts around, particularly with those in our lives short-term. All you can do is interact with care and see where things take you. Wishing you all the best, no matter the outcome.
Many blessings and MUCH LOVE,
~Wendy💜
Thank you for holding space for both hope and acceptance. I love the way you put it: some friendships morph into something new, and some simply belong to a season. It’s never easy, but I suppose the only way through is with care, as you said. I’ll carry that with me.
Much love and gratitude to you 💜✨
Ugh I FELT that. I was in the shower tonight wondering the same thing: what’s the harm in a text? This was a friend who I loved. In fact, I loved them so much and I wanted them to be my soul friend more than my romantic feelings towards them (something I bet your friend did) because a failed relationship was not worth losing them in my life. And so I never broached romance with them, even though I felt it. It was enough to be best friends. But in the end, we went separate ways anyways. And though I never said the words, I suspect they knew it all along
Maybe they did know. Maybe love like that doesn’t need words to be understood. Still, I get it—the wondering, the what-if. Some connections just linger!
I explained your story to my husband to see what his reaction would be and not surprisingly he thought the same as me. You cannot force love, as you said, and it is not a nice situation to be in.I think pretty much all of us have been in that situation. For me I was quite young and had formed a pen ship relationship with a boy I met at a girlfriends party, after a year or so he wanted more, but I just didn’t have that sort of feeling for him. I liked him as a friend and that was it. Of course that friendship cooled off eventually, but there was a time a few years later and I was stranded in the city and didn’t have the money to get home (165 miles away), I rang him and he travelled the forty miles from his place, took me back to the town he lived in and loaned me the money for my train fare home. So there you go, no hard feelings and he was there for me. I am hoping that your situation ends the same way. 🤗
It’s comforting to know that sometimes, even when romantic love isn’t reciprocated, respect and warmth can remain. Your friend showing up for you like that says so much about the bond you had, and I love that it wasn’t overshadowed by what didn’t happen. I hope my situation finds that kind of peace too. Thank you for sharing this & always being here in the comment section starting authentic dialogue. I love it & it really touches me! 🤗
Always my pleasure 🤗
This was stunning!!!! I mean meetooo. And yes you can. If both of you want the friendship or say the other person in you life you can. But you gotta hit pause for a bit before you resume.
I don't know if it'll be okay for you but I really hope it is :)
yes, pauses are important! thank you for being here!
Ahh....this was relatable. I have been in this situation more than once, and from what I experienced, you can never go back to being 'just friends.'. Your post took me back in time, about a decade ago, and yet the emotions felt so fresh as I read every word. It's tough seeing your feelings not being reciprocated and it's also tough losing a close friend because you can't reciprocate those feelings. At the end I realized letting go of them is the best thing you can do to prevent them from hurting anymore. That being said, this post shows your strength as a writer...So much beauty and emotions in this post...Loved it!
It really is one of those impossible situations—no matter which side you're on, there's loss. Letting go is painful, but sometimes it's the only way to be kind to both people involved. I’m so moved that my post took you back in time and that the emotions still felt real as you read. Thank you for this thoughtful, beautiful comment—it means a lot!! 💛
This is my favorite post of yours. :)
Thank you for being so bloody good with words - you make this look so easy but it isn't.
One, you take a topic this personal and this alone makes it so difficult and two, you make it look so simple as if anyone could write it anytime they want. This is not fair Mohika. Doing sorcery with words is not allowed!
Abhishek, you just made my day! 😄 Sorcery? I promise, no spells were cast—just a lot of staring at the screen, deleting, rewriting, and questioning my life choices. But knowing it landed this way for you makes it all worth it. Thank you for your kind words 💛
I can so relate, Mohika. The girl I went out with for five years just before I met Jennifer was such a good friend. I broke up with her for exactly the same reason; I loved her but finally had to admit that I couldn't see myself marrying her. There was something missing. At first we remained friends, and even met up now and then (after I moved back to my home state we were 14 hours apart). But then I met Jennifer and fell in love; when I told my ex about Jenn, she did a complete turn around and never spoke to me again. I still miss our friendship.
Really great writing, by the way, Mohika!
That must have been really tough, Don. It’s heartbreaking when love is there but something essential is missing—and even harder when a deep friendship gets lost in the process. I can only imagine how much you must miss that bond. I’m really touched that my writing resonated with you. Thank you for sharing this with me!!
I think I've been there! There were two guys who loved me and both wanted to marry me so I broke up with one and about a year later I married the other! And we divorced about three years later but I went back to him before the divorce went through and I got pregnant but we went our separate ways one month before our son was born. We tried to work it out but he finally married someone else and left Pa. Now, I'm all alone. My son moved out but he brought me Teddy, a one year old Ginger.
Thank you for sharing your story with me, Connie! I'm sure Teddy is great company <3
Yes he is but sometimes he gets in my way!
Damn, Mohika
You drove that rusty old nail deep in all the way to its head.
Hopefully, everyone who has experienced these emotions, will read these words from your skilled pen and find some peace in the solution.
Thank you for sharing your innermost feelings with your adoring audience.
peppermiller3011@gmail.com
I love your comments, Pepper! Hope you're doing well. Thank you!
Oh bruh, I can't just say I'm reading those lines; instead, I can say I'm feeling every word and the pain behind them. It's so damn hard to just be friends with someone you love. You want her to be yours, but she can't be. It's like the sun falling in love with the moon, but they can never be together—just like two sides of a coin or two charges of the same field, existing on the same plane but never able to meet.
I love how you describe it! Thank you for reading & commenting!
This was riveting to read.
I came back from unrequited love and remain friends! She turned out to be lesbian, so that kind of makes it easier in a way.
Glad the friendship survived!
The words flowed like butter in this piece. Loved it!
Being old(ish) and having broken many such hearts in my lifetime, I can tell you with some confidence that it matters less with time. You do the right thing and some folks understand it and come back and friends, while others hold it against you forever. But it doesn't matter, because you did the right thing!
This is what I needed to hear. I live in my head rent free all the time and sometimes despite knowing the right thing, I overthink to a hundred degrees. You're absolutely right. Every word. Thank you for being here 💝
Been there, done that and yes, our friendship proved strong enough to survive the crush of a single sided romance. I simply made the choice to keep my special friend in my life rather than lose her because of my heartache. We spoke of it often and honestly. In a way she healed me, she kept me close until my heart stopped hurting. It can be done if you both want it badly enough. Good luck.
Thanks Dave! I hope every human out there has a heart strong enough to survive unrequited love 💒✨ My friend completely cut off and blocked me and it crushed my heart but I do forgive him and understand why he did what he did.
It is a bit hard going back to normal after a close friend confesses, but how do you deal it solely depends upon you both.
Some people start with some melodrama, some break ties, while some have a peaceful discussion with them trying to make them understand as to why a romantic relationship can't be possible. If a person falls in love during a friendship, they don't have the right to constantly push the other person to love them, and the other person shouldn't cut off ties either.
If you are into Bollywood, don't behave like Ayan and Alizeh from Ae Dil Hai Mushkil😄❤️
Talk to him, and make him understand peacefully. If he is mature, he will understand☺️❤️
Loved this article, Mo!🥰
LOVEEEE that you made time to share your thoughts! It's so hard to be on either side of this situation but having hard, honest conversations is the only way to resolve a situation without grudges like you said 💜
Yes absolutely!🤗❤️
I had a friendship breakup like this back in September... I think about it a lot. After 10 years I thought we would be okay. Obviously, he doesn't need me in his life... I didnt know this then but I know it now, i don't need him. I won't get into the gritty details of the mess but it was unrequited in this situationship too and tbh... I'm still hurting. But I go along about my days.
Got really hell bent in a Tool song today though... I always think of him when I hear it... the grudge it's called... you can guess I'm sure ... anyways that's my bubble of a story. 💕 thanks for sharing yours. Gnite.
Thank you for sharing your story with me. All I wanted to do while reading your comment was put my head on your shoulder and listen haha! I know exactly how you feel. Yup, totally don't need him. It's the hurt of missing someone soooo much because you care so deeply about them and then they're gone because you can't give them what they want and that's that 🤷