Do our routines trap us?

& some stories from my grandmother's childhood 💜

Mo in peace, circa May’24

Do we ever stop to question why we live the way we do? Is our meticulous planning a sign of discipline or a cage we've built for ourselves?

I was chatting with my friend Ajay recently, and it really got me thinking about how we balance structure and freedom in our daily lives.

Ajay and I were discussing our routines, and I shared how my life feels like a tightly scheduled project. Every single minute of my day is accounted for, meticulously planned down to the smallest detail. My mind acts as my personal assistant, stylist, and chaos manager all rolled into one. It handles everything I throw its way, but at what cost?

Here's a snapshot of my typical day:

Morning:

- Brush my teeth
- Have water
- Practice Jal Neti
- Do breathwork to Krishna Das Hanuman Chalisa
- Meditate
- Workout for 20-50 minutes depending on my schedule
- Shower
- Have breakfast
- Head to work

Evening:

- Spend time with my grandparents
- Have water
- Workout again depending on what my body needs
- Write
- Have dinner
- Write some more or read
- Sleep

I’m in love with the activities I do every single day. They help me grow. They keep me sane. But having said that, this routine is unwavering, even on Sundays. Hailstorm or sunshine, my routine doesn't budge.

As I recounted this to Ajay, he listened thoughtfully and then asked, "But what happens when you miss something?" That question hit me hard. What happens when I miss something?

When I don't complete even the tiniest task, my mind scolds me relentlessly. It tells me I should do better, be more disciplined. It's a lot to handle.

This conversation made me think of a deeper conversation I once had with my grandmother. She painted a picture of a morning in her village, the kind that makes you wish you were there. She and her sister woke up with the sun, the sky blushing pink. They headed to the barn to milk the cows, a task that always brought a sense of peace and connection to the rhythm of life. The cows were gentle and familiar, their warm breaths mixing with the cool morning air.

After their chores, they decided to wander through the fields, the corn stretching high above their heads, creating a maze of green and yellow. They didn't have a destination; they simply walked, talking and laughing, their voices mingling with the rustling leaves. They spent hours like this, feeling the earth beneath their feet, the sun on their faces, and the simple joy of each other's company.

As the day grew hotter, they found a shady spot under a large banyan tree and sat down to rest. My grandmother took out a small comb and began braiding flowers into her sister's hair, a ritual they loved. Each flower was a tiny burst of color. They spoke of their dreams, their fears, and the stories they would one day tell their own children.

In the afternoon, they walked to the village temple. Whenever my grandmother felt worried or anxious, she found solace in the quiet, sacred space. The temple was cool and dim, filled with the scent of incense and the soft murmur of prayers. She would sit there, her mind quieting, her heart finding peace in the presence of something larger than herself.

In hindsight, I see how much I overanalyze and trap myself in my head. My strict routines keep me productive, but they also imprison me in a cycle of self-criticism. Sometimes, I forget to breathe, to let go, to simply be. But awareness is the first step to change. As soon as I recognize this pattern, I try to allow myself a moment of freedom, to break the chains I’ve made for myself.

Maybe the real project is learning to be kinder to myself. Finding joy in the unexpected?

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I'd love to hear from you:

1. Do you have a strict daily routine like mine? How do you feel when you deviate from it?

2. How do you find moments of freedom and joy in your everyday life?

Share your thoughts in the comments!

from iiiwa on Pinterest

Speaking of flowers in the hair, here’s a song by the Lumineers I really like!

Nature is brimming with poetry, if you just take the time to listen. This 9-page guide offers everything you need to dive into the beauty of nature with a poet’s eye. From choosing the right location to engaging all five senses, this guide will help you unlock the writing potential hidden in leaves, birdsongs, and morning dew. Bonus resources included for even more inspiration!

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