From holes to wholesome

being real and cheeky with yourself

meditate with art

I probably spent the first 20 years of my life running from who I was and who I was becoming. I had an arsenal of tools for numbing and avoiding.

From the outside, it manifested as anxious attachment to people I met and mild eating disorders I never confided to my parents about. Living with my birth mother, sister, and grandparents, I never felt comfortable being vulnerable. I pushed everything down, drowning in noise to avoid confronting myself. It was a delicate dance of evasion.

I relied heavily on others' perceptions of me. Their energy was my refuge, a way to feel safe and seen. I was a stranger to myself, far from being my own best friend.

Today, I’m just a few weeks into turning 25 and in a much better place.

I still wrestle with magnifying my fears. I still worry if I was rude to my mom. Constantly, I must nurture my self-critic and soothe my soul with love. It might sound exhausting, but it’s the closest I’ve ever been to being in my body, aware enough to know I don’t have to like everyone I meet. And they don’t have to like me back.

These days, I am good company to myself. I no longer need constant companionship to validate my existence. The relentless need to stay busy has faded.

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My life has seamlessly blossomed.

I hope you know, truly know, that it gets easier. Understand and feel it in your bones. This could be the day that changes everything. But for any change to happen, you must return to your body.

There’s nothing anyone can teach you that you don’t already know. Your soul holds all the answers.

Shifting your vibrational set-point is crucial. Love, hate, wealth, poverty—it’s all energy. Focus on your body. Trauma lives there. Your body remembers. You attract your vibrational frequency. For any lasting change, cultivate what becomes second nature. Persist in what feels natural or train yourself until it does.

For me, it’s my yoga practice. Every morning, I’m on the mat. I show up. It’s now second nature to move my body as soon as I wake up—but it wasn’t always like this.

Imagine you’re hiking in a forest, savoring a peaceful moment—how does your body respond? Be honest. Do you feel, “I don’t like this”? Your reactions are automatic. What feels good in your body sets your vibrational tone. Good or bad.

When you see something you like, how do you react?

Your thoughts inspire your feelings, which inspire your actions. If you can face your issues head-on and purge them, you’ll see your manifestations soar. Your life begins to change as your reactions to it change.

Who you are is a blend of all the things people have told you to be. Your body remembers the fear of being authentic. But reprogram your relationship with your environment, and your life opens up. You feel like you.

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Here are some small ways I meet myself:

• I take long walks alone

• I go out for lunch by myself

• I spend time writing in my journal

• I propagate arrowheads in vintage glass bottles

• I breathe deeply into my belly three times and exhale slowly

• I practice yoga daily, something my heart didn’t even know it needed

• I know I’ll always have a growing edge to push and encounter.

Let this be a gentle nudge to you. You can be your own shoulder to lean on. You don’t constantly need friends or the energy to be busy. You don’t need your phone to hide behind, scrolling away. Practice meeting yourself. You are a whole being. I love you.

I love to read what you feel about these essays. So write to me. Tell me tell me tell me. I know it can be strange sending a message to some writer on the internet whom you’ve never ever met - try! a little hi or a cute 🧡?

It’s easier than you think and makes my whole dayyyy.
Thank you thank you thank you!

This is by Nicola Welten. It blows my mind!

Wholesome Newsletters

• Nobody Likes The Truth by

  Harun Kewa
  .
  "But when the truth does not achieve any meaningful purpose, we would be best served by leaving it in the medicine cabinet.”

• Poem From The Road by

  Anagha Smrithi
  
  ”You study the map that will take us there. I study the small creases that fan out from the corner of your eyes. There is no map for that. No map for our lives.”

I’ll see you soon!
Love, Mo 🧡

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Nature is brimming with poetry, if you just take the time to listen. This 9-page guide offers everything you need to dive into the beauty of nature with a poet’s eye. From choosing the right location to engaging all five senses, this guide will help you unlock the writing potential hidden in leaves, birdsongs, and morning dew. Bonus resources included for even more inspiration!

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