Wearing a bright red lipstick just because
Pleasure isn't selfish.
After watching the most ridiculous pink-orange sunset from my balcony in Gurgaon, I slipped on my chappals and walked over to my favorite South Indian joint. They sat me down on a plastic chair and handed me a steel glass of filter coffee before even giving me the menu (No idea why, but I wasn’t complaining!!)
Me, in an old Fabindia kurta, no makeup, my hair smelling faintly of this coconut water & mimosa flower shampoo, sitting in a buzzing restaurant with the smell of dosas in the air. The fan whirred overhead. And then they brought me my favorite thing on earth—crispy ghee roast dosa with an assortment of chutneys. I swear it felt like I had a conversation with God.
For the longest time, I’ve been outsourcing joy; relying on random texts from people I barely know to make me feel seen. Thinking happiness could only come from being wanted by someone else. But the truth is, when joy depends on others, it’s always out of reach. It’s addictive—the attention, the thrill, then the emptiness that follows. And while I’m all for connection, I want my happiness to be rooted in me. In my choices, my presence. I want to know I can create joy without waiting for someone else to complete the picture. Everything else, love, friendship, attention should just overflow my already full cup. Not fill an empty one.
I’m done chasing external validation. Done treating joy like a reward for good behavior. I’m giving myself permission to bask in it, no strings attached.
Women here grow up learning to please. Stay neat, skip the rice at dinner, adjust, adjust, adjust. & I’m sitting with chutney on my fingers and my hair in a messy bun. So many women would never allow themselves this kind of deliciousness because they’d be too worried about appearances.
How often do we deny ourselves simple pleasures because they seem unnecessary? Too indulgent, not productive enough. We’re so busy perfecting ourselves that we forget the best version of us is the one that’s most alive.
The one that knows pleasure isn’t something to earn, it’s right here. In reading a cheesy novel under a warm blanket, napping on a lazy Sunday afternoon, eating ghee-soaked parathas straight off the tawa, or wearing a bright red lipstick just because.
Pleasure isn’t selfish. It’s fuel. And it’s okay to make room for it just because it feels good. No justification needed.
Other posts you can enjoy!
See you next Wednesday!
Love,
Mo 🧡
Oh! I almost forgot. We live in the states in a small town and we had a pretty good Indian Restaurant that we went to for YEARS. They just closed!! We are trying other Indian places but they just aren't hitting the mark. But one does come close, the one with DOSAs. OMG. I am completely hard-over-heels for dosas. I was looking up how to make them earlier today.
Oh, Mohika. How wonderful. I feel just the same, and it's easy when you're older to step back from external praise, from the expectation of praise. You are young, learning this now is so important. Good for you!
I think you will like a couple of things-- https://kikijthompson.substack.com/p/nothing-against-buddha
and one of mine from Poetry month-- https://kikijthompson.substack.com/p/nothing-against-buddha