An afternoon on a Thai Beach

Sunsets, floating in sea foam, & the last of my teens

I’m about to float in the ocean, and the sun dips below the horizon. It leaves the sky a soft mix of orange and pink. It’s a scorching summer day in Thailand. The heat hugs the shore, almost afraid to let go. The beach club we’ve chosen is alive with the cries of seagulls, Justin Bieber playing in the background, and the clinking of shells in a windchime.

Dad & I walk into the hungry roars of the beach.

Waves instantly engulf my toes, calves, & butt. It’s warm but not too hot, a refreshing change from the humid air. My vision blurs from ocean water but I can see sunbeds and blue-and-white umbrellas spread out across the soft, white sand, where beach towels are scattered like colorful quilts.

Behind me, the deep blue sea yawns, tummy-full of sea creatures I can’t feel but like to imagine—whales, seahorses, squids, manta rays (may they always be far away from me as long as I am in this water. An intruder in their home).

To my left, my dad is floating too, his eyes closed and his face relaxed. I can tell he’s at peace. I let the waves carry me, feeling a playful push against my hips and legs. The sea floor gradually fades away from beneath me, and I’m just floating, held up by the water. I like being cradled by the ocean. All my worries drifting away as I sway. Above me, a single cloud drifts across the sky, searching for its partner. The orange sun has disappeared, replaced by the soft glow of twilight.

Everything around me goes quiet. Nature takes a deep breath. So do I. I am enjoying the last of my teens with beach tangled hair, salt-kissed skin, & a family I love.

On this trip I had the beer Hoegaarden for the first time, with a lime wedge that Mrinal Bhaiya insisted I add. I was 19, and got a taste of freedom. While we were in the ocean, dad and I spoke about my childhood. It wasn’t always brutal, but never too pleasant for too long either. At least from what I remember. He told me he loves me and he’s here now. That was enough.

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A poem by Rumi I visit often, and can almost recite by heart

You are sitting here with us,
but you are also out walking in a field at dawn.

You are yourself the animal we hunt
when you come with us on the hunt.

You are in your body
like a plant is solid in the ground,
yet you are wind.

You are the diver's clothes
lying empty on the beach.
You are the fish.

In the ocean are many bright strands
and many dark strands like veins that are seen
when a wing is lifted up.

Your hidden self is blood in those,
those veins that are lute strings
that make ocean music,
not the sad edge of surf,
but the sound of no shore.

―Rumi, The Essential Rumi

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The rhythm that pulses through everything by Jamie Bernard

Have you ever had a moment where you felt completely free and connected to nature? If so, what was it like for you?

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