When you start feeling shifts in your inner being

riding waves; a heartbreak & a blessing

I've been feeling a mix of overwhelming sadness and lightness. It's strange, being happy and sad at the same time. Sunlight & shadows pulling me in opposite directions. I'm mourning the death of the girl I used to be. I lived with her for so long—the lost little girl with an angry heart. A familiar ghost with clenched fists. Letting her go is both freeing and heartbreaking. A balloon drifting in pale blue sky.

I'm shedding old skin, feeling lighter. Rainbow orbs of delight. The joy of releasing old patterns and worn-out grudges, and the sorrow over what’s been lost.

I find healing in my daily routines. In the kriyas I practice over and over. Sometimes I find a new way of thinking. Other times I can’t wait for time to lapse so I can get on with my day. Regardless, I show up. Most days I hope it’s enough.

Although I've been consistent with my breathwork and meditation routine, I feel disconnected from my body. As if I'm both inside and outside of it.

I pray for those I love, sending out wishes for their dreams and well-being like paper lanterns into the night. This capacity for empathy is new. A tender growth I’ve never known before. Or perhaps known but not acknowledged. I am no longer the same. I'm finding myself again, and maybe that’s why I want to chop off my hair. To physically mark the change. To meet with grace whoever I am becoming.

Here’s a poem I wrote inspired by my happy-sadness. Hope it makes you feel some type of way (but not too much in case it ruins your day!)

I'm having tea alone
on a street in Dubai
where elephants once walked.
The air smells like fresh plants,
but it's the gardeners
taking care of the city's flowers.
If I didn't see them,
I'd think it was the elephants.

Last night in my dreams,
you moved with your eyes
following the light on the ceiling,
like you did before,
when looking at me made you shy.
Now, under the palm trees,
everyone looks beautiful.

I want to hide my sadness
under the swimming pool like a small secret.
I want to bury my sadness
in the garden beds along this street
that isn't a street anymore.
I want to ask the waiter— Do you
believe in the past you?
Will you allow yourself a new start?
Is life a sphere or a square?
I'd take her answers
and finger-knit them together
and end this poem.

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Something short & delicious for you to read

I hope my friends know that I love them by

Jenny Clark

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A song for your soul

Save this guided breathwork to try

As always, I love you!

See you next Wednesday 🧡💫

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Nature is brimming with poetry, if you just take the time to listen. This 9-page guide offers everything you need to dive into the beauty of nature with a poet’s eye. From choosing the right location to engaging all five senses, this guide will help you unlock the writing potential hidden in leaves, birdsongs, and morning dew. Bonus resources included for even more inspiration!

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